I’ve been trying to navigate this whole dating thing since I decided I wanted to jump into the dating pool.  What a mess!  How does a 61 year old man figure out how to date after being married for 15 years and single again for two more?  That’s 17 years total since dating anyone.  Since then, believe me, the rules have changed, a lot!

So, I went online and tried to find some advice from the so called “experts.”  It was no help at all.  This one “dating coach” said to wear things that girls love.  First of all, I’m not looking for “girls.”  I would like to meet a nice woman.  I’m too old for girls.  I listened to what this dating coach said.  If I did follow her advice, I feel like I would be trying to be someone I’m not.

The first thing she said was to wear sunglasses.  Ugh!  I have prescription sunglasses and I usually only wear them when I’m driving.  I’m certainly not wearing them to try to look cool or attractive or whatever the goal is here.  She also said men should wear a nice watch.  Sorry, I don’t wear jewelry.  If I ever get married again, I’ll wear my wedding ring, but no watch.  Sorry ladies.  She said to wear a few other things, but the one thing that really got to me was she said to wear a leather jacket.  What!?  I’m not a leather kind of person.  I’m only interested in meeting women, not in joining a motorcycle gang.  She also said to wear a bomber jacket.  Now that is something I could get into.  I really like bomber jackets.  I’ve looked for them online in the past, but I’m not buying a leather bomber jacket.

The point is, I just want to be me.  Yes, I will try to dress nice.  I’ll even take a shower, brush my teeth, and comb my hair.  But I’m not wearing sunglasses just to be cool, a watch, nor a leather bomber jacket.  That’s just not my style.  When I was in college, we attended events that required semi-formal dress.  We thought that meant clean underwear and socks (college kids.  What are you gonna do)?  That I could handle.  I think that rule still applies, only with a few more requirements added on.

I watched a video about how to flirt with women over text.  I watched it and decided all of this was too confusing.  Again, I just can’t see myself doing those things.  I mean some of the things she suggested were only common sense, like compliment her, and don’t be overly aggressive or needy.  Well, yeah.  Again, common sense.  But use emoji’s?  And not just any emoji, she said to use the smiley face that was blushing or the smirk face.  I don’t think my phone has those things.  I found an emoji that has a smiley face, but I couldn’t locate one that was blushing too.  It’s all just too much pressure to try and remember all of this.

There was another video that suggested 10 signs someone likes you.  Again, I’m not sure I can figure this out.  I’m not that perceptive.  After all, I’m a man and half brain dead anyway.  She wants me to pay attention to body language.  To me body language is smiling or folding her arms across her chest (not a good sign) or playing with her cell phone while I’m talking to her.  At that point it’s a pretty good indication that I’ve lost her.

I just don’t know about all of this.  Why can’t I just be me?  I will admit there are a few things these “experts” said I thought might be worthwhile.  For example, shoes.  I definitely need new shoes.  I need a new pair of tennis shoes (okay, sneakers), two new pairs of dress shoes (one black and one brown), and a nice pair of casual shoes.  That would take care of that.  Oh, and yes, the bomber jacket.  I for sure want one of those.

This is my approach to dating.  Practice good manners, you know chew with my mouth closed, don’t reach across the table, and my grandfather’s favorite, always keep at least one foot on the floor.  Another one is, be polite, for example open doors for her, help her put her coat on, let her go first, and give her my handkerchief if she starts to cry or needs to blow her nose (I better buy some new handkerchiefs).  Do they even make those anymore?  Next, make her laugh.  I have found from reading many dating site profiles that women want a man that will make her laugh.  Apparently, this is extremely important, because almost every profile I looked at said something about making her laugh.  Talk about pressure!  Also, be kind, not just to my date, but to other people also.  I never want to be a jerk, at all, but especially in front of my date.  To me, these things are important.  I guess I’m old fashion.  I realize that my date is perfectly capable of opening her own doors and putting her coat on without my help.  I just believe that’s the way to be a gentleman and I want to be a gentleman.  That’s the way my mother and father raised me.

Ultimately, I just want to be me.  I don’t want to try to be someone I’m not.  If that doesn’t work in being able to meet and date women, then I’m not interested.  After all, I want to be with someone who will accept me just the way I am…and my bomber jacket.