Is it just me, my age, or something else?  I have found that once something begins to happen, things can move very quickly.  Is it possible for me to meet someone and then in just a few weeks start thinking about a long-term relationship with this person?

Yes, it is.

I have been given a lot of advice about dating and relationships.  My favorite is the one about dating being like a bag of jellybeans, you have to try a variety to find one you really like.  I have also had friends, friends of friends, Facebook friends, and family members telling me to take it slow, be cautious, and be safe.  Honestly.  I really have been trying to do this.  But it is like being caught up in a huge wave and being thrust toward the shore, not having any control over what is happening.  I admit I am not completely helpless in all of this.  I mean, I am a grown man, for crying out loud!  I take full responsibility for my actions.  Although, it still feels like being caught up and carried away.

Meeting someone new and getting to know them well can happen in a short period of time.  I think a lot of it is our age.  I mentioned this in my previous blog, that she is a widow, and I am a widower.  This fact created an immediate bond between the two of us.  As we have been spending a great deal of time together, we have learned that we have many other things in common.  We have what they call in sales training, “common ground” (I am sure she will appreciate me comparing our relationship to sales training).

We have found that people around us are not as happy for us as we would like them to be.  I can understand their concerns.  They see two people who have only known each other for a relatively short period of time and are now contemplating a long-term relationship (I keep using the wording “long-term relationship” to avoid using the “m” word).  I am not ready to start talking about THAT in this blog, maybe next time.

When I talk about having a long-term relationship, I mean this is serious business.  I am talking, selling my house, and moving.  I hate moving!  It is worse than having a root canal.  I have never actually had a root canal, but I have been to the dentist plenty of times and have had several unpleasant procedures to know how much I dislike moving.  I have to confess that a long-term relationship is not the only reason I am thinking of moving.  The other reason I am moving is because I live in a two-story home and I have really bad knees.  The stairs are wreaking havoc on my poor knees.  I need a home that has no, or very few, stairs.

I am now in the process of going through all of my stuff and trying to sell, donate, or give away most of my things.  Moving is extremely stressful.  Fortunately, I have had a lot of really good help.  In fact, my neighbor came over tonight and moved a bunch of boxes from my family room and basement to my garage.  I realize it is November, but I really do need to try and have a garage sale.  I will attempt to sell some of my stuff, but I am also considering giving away much of it to family, neighbors, and friends.  I have already given away my lawn mower and snow blower.  My lawn mower did not work at all and my snow blower has not been started in at least two years.  I have no idea if it even runs.  I provided full disclosure of this fact to my neighbor who took that beast off my hands.

Moving is incredibly stressful.  We have been working so hard trying to get ready to move we have not had much time to work on our “long-term relationship.”  At least that is how I feel.  I am looking forward to the day when we are settled into our new place.  A place that we do not have to walk up and down stairs, mow lawns, worry about sprinkler systems, or shoveling snow.  That would be great!

The trickiest part of all this is selling my home and buying a new home at the same time.  I realize I could become homeless for a period of time, unless the planets align, and lady luck is on my side (I do not really believe in that stuff).  I hope our real estate agent can work her magic and make things happen, so I do not become homeless.

Again, I am not prepared to go into details about my relationship with this truly kind and wonderful woman, at least not in this blog.  I will probably reveal more in my next blog.  I am being extremely cautious that this is happening so fast.  I believe we have spent enough time together to get to know one another on a deeper level.  I really feel like at my age I do not have time to mess around.  I have met someone special and I intend to pursue a serious, long-term relationship with her.

I wonder what they would call it in sales training.  “Close the deal!”  I think that is what they would say.

My first post on this blog was called “Love in a Pandemic.”  I wrote about using online dating sites to meet women.  For a while, things did not look promising at all.  On one dating site I was dealing with women who would not give me the time of day (the site I referred to as the “Snobby Women” web site).  I checked out another online dating site.  I was a little more successful on that one.  I met a few other women that I began chatting with online (I’m reminded of the movie Napoleon Dynamite when Napoleon’s brother says he has been chatting with “babes” online all day).

I even went on a couple of dates with one of them.  After a short while she decided that she did not want to see me anymore.  At first, I was devastated.  But then I started chatting with a few other women that I had met on the second web site.  All of these women were kind and willing to get to know me online.  My devastation soon dissipated.  I truly feel I have made some good friends, even though I have never met any of them in person.

More recently, things in my life have changed quite dramatically and very quickly.  A friend of mine read my first blog, “Love in a Pandemic.”  After reading it, she decided she wanted to introduce me to her aunt.  She asked her husband to send me a text message and ask if I was interested in meeting her.  I said yes. I thought it was a great idea. 

Our introduction was a picnic in the park.  I mean that literally, not figuratively.  We each brought our own lunch.  We ate.  Then we played dominoes.  It was a lot of fun.  When we were finished, I asked the aunt if I could call her sometime.  She gave me her number, which I thought was a good sign, and we started talking and chatting.

On our first date, we went to dinner and spent about three hours talking (yes, we wore masks).  It was so unbelievable how much we had in common.  For example, she is a widow.  Her husband died about five years ago.  I am a widower.  My wife died about two years ago.  We had that in common.  As we talked, we discovered we had many other things in common.  It has been four weeks and during that time we have been seeing each other quite frequently.

Having gone through all of that, I would not change a thing about my online dating experience.  I learned a lot about online dating and how things work in today’s dating environment. However, I would suggest trying alternatives to online dating sites such as social media sites that have specific groups created for meeting others and the potential for dating.  The one I joined was specifically for people over 50.  There are a lot of really nice people in this group and when I joined, I received a warm welcome.

If I end up dating again (I hope not), I will primarily use these social media sites to meet others.

I have also learned there are a lot of single women out there and not very many respectable single men.  In the state where I live there is a predominate religion.  I have heard that there are quite a few single women affiliated with this denomination and very few men.

Another thing I learned is if you meet someone online that you like, do not wait too long to meet them.  Someone else may swoop in and snatch them up.  I have learned a great deal about myself through these online dating experiences.  I have learned that if women do not want to talk to me or take the opportunity to get to know me, it is not me.  It is them.  I have also learned not to place my self-worth in the hands of a few who do not want to know me for who I am.

Now that I am “seeing” someone exclusively, this part of my adventure (I guess you could call it Phase I) is coming to an end.  Now it is time for Phase II.  I do not know how many phases there will be, but I will continue writing this blog as long as I feel like I am learning and have something to share with all of you.

Since dipping my toe into the dating scene, it feels like my life has become difficult and somewhat complicated.  I appreciate the love and support my friends and family have extended to me over the past several months.  It really has made things much easier having the support of so many.  I am especially grateful for my friend who introduced me to her aunt.  Although, it does feel like I somehow circumvented the whole dating thing and cheated my way into Phase II.